Too “Considerate” to Friends?

too much consideration leads to distance

Often times, we are asked to be considerate of others feelings. While it is indeed true that some people are too insensitive, some people are too considerate of others. To truly be close to someone, you cannot be too considerate. If you are always too careful with what you say, others may view you as distant and unwilling to form close relationships with anyone.

If you think about it, it makes sense. How would people come to know you better if you are constantly hiding your true thoughts and opinions?

People get closer to each other when they share their deepest thoughts and genuine emotions with each other. Something that cannot be done if you are always wary of how the other person may react. Sometimes, you just have to trust in your friends. Trust that even if you may not see eye to eye at first the result will be okay. Trust that as you argue and try to come to terms with each other’s differing perspectives, even if not completely, you will be able to better understand each other. Once you start to understand each other better, your perception of each other may change. If they can still remain friends after arguing, it is very likely that they will have closer bonds than before.

If they are always wary of each other and careful to not annoy each other or make each other feel uncomfortable, they would be nothing more than acquaintances. Acquaintances whom you maintain good relationships with just so that you can ask each other for help whenever convenient. Of course, I am not saying that we should not do this at all. However, we should know when it is okay to speak your mind. Especially when you feel that the way your friend is behaving is not good for him or her.

Just because a friend tells you he or she is fine and doesn’t seem to want to talk about whatever problems he or she may have, doesn’t mean that you should just leave it that way and forget about it so as to not bother him or her. While it would not be wise to push the other person to share, one should at least try to tell him or her that if he or she needs anything, even if just a listening ear, that you are always available. At least let your friend know that you are there for him or her when they are ready to share their problems. This way, you can be considerate of the other person’s feelings and situation without appearing distant.

In conclusion, we should not be too insensitive to others, however, we should not be too “considerate” of others to the point that we are too scared to take action and help our friends in their times of need even if they do not ask for it.

– K.A.L.T


Are you the type that is too considerate? Or are you always saying and acting however you want? Do you think that being too considerate is the same as being superficial or do you view it as essential to always be considerate of others? Do you think that sometimes it is important to be insensitive and tell others the truth even if it could hurt them badly? Please comment your thoughts on what you consider as insensitive and being considerate.


Edit: Perhaps I should not have said too considerate but rather the simple of behaviour of being too afraid to share one’s own thoughts and opinions and act on them? Maybe considerate was not the right term to use in this case…

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