Blog Response: Conversation

Before reading my post, make sure you read Sana’s post titled “Conversation” on eleven eleven.

For a post titled “Conversation”, I feel that there was quite a bit of emphasis on dreams as well. Especially with regards to how the beauty of dreams is that they seem so out of grasp, and thus seem more beautiful. However, I will be focusing more on the topic of conversations in this post.

Conversations. Verbal interactions with those around you. The topic of discussion is sometimes trivial, sometimes work-related, sometimes nothing but pointless gossip… rarely is it a truthful exchange of what each person is feeling.

It could be due to one’s fear of how the other may react that they decide not to share how they are feeling… or it could simply be one’s inability to do so. Either way, conversations, in reality, become nothing but superficial and meaningless. We come to hate how calculated each and every person’s words are. As if words that leave one’s mouth is always something that must bring benefits to himself or herself. Or at the very least, not put one in a tight spot.

As we watch characters in various entertainment mediums such as TV shows and books do what they want to do and say what we want to say, we come to hate reality even more. We wish that we could interact with others the way the characters do in fiction. Acting truthfully, speaking honestly and just being real without fearing what others would think.

β€œConversations should be more than just an exchange of words. They should be an exchange of emotions.”
– K.A.L.T

However, we may have become too used to putting up a front and saying what others want to hear. Perhaps, we can no longer explain how we truly feel and what we want to do adequately enough for others to understand… If someone could understand without a proper explanation, it would truly be a dream that is too good to be true.

– K.A.L.T


Sorry for a shorter post than usual. Hopefully, those of you who read my post still find some meaning in it. Or perhaps, do you prefer my posts to be shorter like this? Or do you prefer my longer and slightly more elaborate posts?

What is your take on conversations? Have you had a long and good conversation with someone close to you recently? Have you been able to convey your emotions to those closest to you?

Leave all your thoughts in the comments below. πŸ™‚

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Categories: Blog Response

14 replies »

  1. I agree with everything that you have written in here. But we cannot afford to share our feelings with someone who doesn’t really care. So I feel, it’s all about finding the right people to be open to, you know? Simultaneously, we can also learn to word our thoughts. (Which is the most important part of a conversation?)

    Liked by 1 person

    • To be honest, I feel that we can afford to share our feelings with someone who doesn’t really care. They simply become an option for us to vent our frustrations and worries without worrying about them being bothered about it or thinking about it long after. It’s as though you just threw away your frustrations, never to return. However, of course, I still agree that we need to find the right people to open up to. After all, if we simply opened up and made our feelings known to everyone, there would be people who purposefully choose to hurt you emotionally. We need to try to be more wary of who truly cares for us and would be willing to not just hear us out, but also provide timely advice… or at the very least, be worried about us and accompany us through whatever times we are going through.

      With regards to wording our thoughts, I think that it really important as well of course. Honestly speaking, I cannot really voice out my thoughts and emotions to others when I interact with them face to face. Or at the very least, I find it extremely challenging. For me, my thoughts flow much easier when I’m typing them online like this. Thus, I feel that we need to learn not just to word our thoughts, but voice our thoughts as well. After all, we need to be able to interact with those not just far away from us, but especially those that are closer to us (physically).

      Honestly, what is important for a conversation is that it suits the needs of both parties. A deep conversation for those who really want to contemplate and share their thoughts on a specific topic. A light and mostly meaningless conversation for those who just want to kill some time and not think too much. A content heavy conversation for those who need to discuss their work. Or an emotionally heavy conversation for mutual emotional support of each other.

      Thank you for your comment. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      • That’s true as well. But then I can’t really bear the idea of opening to somebody who doesn’t care. Call me a narcissist, but I need people who care. (Even if that caring session lasts for a minute.) Of course there are such people in my life. But, my problem has always been an inability to find the right words. Because once if I get the words right, I do voice them. (That is if those words don’t make me look vulnerable).

        Ohh I understand. Face to face interaction can be very difficult. Especially if the topic of discussion happens to be our emotions or fears or things like that. See how I’m unable to get this comment right either. This is my problem. -_- and I’m trying to learn I guess. But there are just parts of me that I don’t even want to know. Like if you bottle up something for so long, you just forget what’s inside right? I can’t speak for much long without using some kind of simile or metaphor. *Sigh* *trying to change*

        But, you word your thoughts wonderfully. Trust me. We all can’t be good at everything. I mean, I’m a great listener but I don’t say much. I feel it’s all about realizing what we lack and try to improve in that area you know?

        Liked by 1 person

      • Well, it is understandable to not like the idea of sharing your feelings with someone who doesn’t care. However, I simply feel that you have nothing to lose… Although, I agree that it can sometimes be disheartening if the person makes it obvious that they do not care at all. It makes it feel like your feelings are being belittled even after you’ve picked up the courage to share them. I wouldn’t go so far as to say you are a narcissist, but simply someone who wants to be respected as a person when talking. That is just natural if you think about it, perhaps I have just gotten used to expecting less of others (as well as myself) so it doesn’t bother me so much.

        Well, if you have kind and caring people by your side, no matter how long it takes for you to find the right words, I’m sure that they will be waiting for you patiently. πŸ™‚ I also have times whereby I do not know what to say or how to convey what I think. When that happens, I take my time to properly think over what I want to say before saying it. Just like I had to wait quite a while before figuring out how to write this reply to your comment. ^^

        Indeed, if you simply think of what you want to say and type it online, your full focus goes into crafting what you want to say. However, for face-to-face interactions, you have no choice but to take into consideration the other party’s behaviour into how you want to say what you want to say. Most of the time, we end up putting off what we intended to say and go for failsafe conversations that often don’t amount to much due to the fact that we could not find the right words to say. At the end of the day, we still feel the same uncomfortable emotions and fears as we were unable to voice them to our friends. After a while, the feelings fade and with nowhere to turn to you just become a little empty inside. Not really understanding what we fear anymore… or even what we want or who we truly are as a person as we lack any sort of desire.

        To prevent that, we should never stop thinking about how we feel even if we cannot put it into words yet, surely if we keep thinking, we’ll be able to find the right words to convey to those who care about us. I hope you will be able to do so one day as well. Better sooner than later. πŸ™‚

        Thank you for your compliments πŸ™‚
        In my opinion, being a good listener is already a very good trait to have. But even a listener needs someone to listen to them when in their times of anguish. If you’re comfortable with sharing with me any of your inner troubles feel free to contact me through social media platforms if you wish to. If not, I hope that those around you continue to care for you and are patient with you.

        Of course, I’ll stop by your blog every now and then and comment on whatever you may post. πŸ™‚

        Hope you have a good day ahead or had a good day if your day is almost over. ^^

        Like

      • Well did I say people? Apologies. I actually meant one person with whom I do share most of what goes around in my head.

        I do get what you mean. Exactly the way I’m able to talk to you even though I do not know your name. But I am comfortable conveying what I feel here because you sound genuinely interested or willing to listen at the very least. And isn’t that enough? Because once I started explaining my fears to someone (who I assumed to care), then felt like a complete fool for doing so.

        That’s not any good to stop believing in goodness. Because there are many kind people out there. Maybe you haven’t found them yet? But that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. I hope you expect more from yourself and get more from the people around you. πŸ™‚

        I had to wait for quite a while as well. πŸ™ˆ How much my thoughts get justifies? That I do not know.

        Exactly!! You’ve worded my thoughts perfectly. It’s like I don’t know what I’m afraid of anymore because I just chose to ignore my fears. And still it’s like I live in sweet denial because simple and easy? Hopefully one day I’ll gather the courage to face myself again.

        Thank you so much for your support. See how you just offered help to a complete stranger? and you tell me that you think low of yourself. (We all have a tendency to do so, but we can try to be better than that right?)

        Haha! Thank you! And I’ll be a regular visitor to your blog as well. Yes, here the day’s almost over now. Hope you are doing great there too! πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      • Well, just having one person to talk to and share your feelings is more than enough in my opinion πŸ™‚

        For me, I’m just responding to comments that make me either feel something or think of something. Simply talking to those who you feel comfortable talking to or you feel you can relate in some aspect to is enough in my opinion. Perhaps this may lead us to open up to the wrong people at times and you regret it but mistakes are normal. They may be painful but there may be people you meet later who made you glad you opened up to them. From then, you likely won’t have to continue the trial and error of finding someone to care for you and listen to you…

        Haha I said all that yet you already have someone to care for you so perhaps you already knew all that ^^”

        Well, I’m not saying I do not believe in goodness, I simply do not expect it. Expectations are the key to disappointments after all. I have found good people. I just dislike sharing my troubles and inner thoughts vocally. Don’t ask me why. I do not know. I do not know what I’m afraid of either. I just know that I do not want to share anything too personal with those around me. Even if they would listen. Even if they would care.

        Denial is escaping, facing yourself head-on is a great resolution. Hopefully, you’ll be able to fill yourself with beads of your own thoughts and feelings to become a more complete you. Perhaps, you’ll be able to fill yourself more such that you won’t be an empty shell no longer. An empty shell who only takes on the colours others have painted on you.

        You’re welcome πŸ™‚
        Well, no matter how much I help people by typing it doesn’t feel like much cause I’m just doing what I like. Typing what I want. I guess in my case, I simply expect less of myself to avoid disappointments. If others find that I’m better than I think I am, that is great. I just don’t want to hate myself anymore. I do not want to have needless regrets. I just want to live however I can and not care about whatever the results are. The simplest way to do all that… is to expect little of myself. In a way, it’s nothing more than a method for me to escape from self-inflicted agony over my incompetence on various things… Since there are many more things I am incapable of as compared to things I am capable of.

        Anyways, that’s enough gloomy comments on my life and stuff. Thanks for supporting my blog and though this reply is 5 days late, I have been doing fine. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      • First of all, extremely sorry for the late reply. Been occupied with life.

        Yes, I agree. Just being able to open up to someone or something releases bit of weight of our chests. And I believe medium of communication doesn’t matter much as long as the words that are being shared are genuine and honest. So commenting or responding to comments can help lessen the burden too. (But you’ve already said that.)

        Hahha. It’s okay. It’s feels good to read the known things and relate to people who are from distant lands.

        Aah. Expectations. But don’t you feel that those are inevitable? A relationship no matter of what type is supposed to be based on give and take. Like why would I give importance to someone who’s most likely to ignore my existence? So I say, instead of lowering your expectations use them to find yourself the right folk. Of course the quantity falls down drastically, but quality makes up for the loss. It’s great that you’ve found good people. May be someday you’ll find the courage to share things with them too.

        Ohh trust me. I know how it feels. The inability to share with those around you. It took me 8 years to even start sharing.. so yeah I get you completely on this one.

        I know. . But denial is sweet right? Yet a lie. May be someday I’ll be able to face myself. May be.

        We all hate ourselves for one reason or another. We can do many great things and still it won’t feel much. So expecting less of ourselves in those times can be great way to avoid an issue.

        Well, I’ll definitely check out more of your posts. Been off from WP since a few days. You should visit more and more blogs to increase the traffic to your blog. You don’t have to thank me. You’re a genuine soul. Just keep doing what you like and be happy. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      • Don’t worry about when you reply, what’s important is that you reply only when you are in the mood to. It’s much less meaningful to force out a reply on continuing a conversation when you’re in a bad mood or rushing for time. Hopefully, things have more or less settled down for you now haha XD

        Well, that is true, but with low expectations, you are able to feel moments of happiness. Even if only temporary you feel them one after another. Along the way, if you find good people, it would make you even happier because your expectations have been surpassed. What you no longer expected of anyone was done by those good people you have come across. I feel that good people are not people you have to search for. They are people you will naturally come across sooner or later. You just have to be willing to continually try to befriend others at risk of losing them. Those that stay are those you learn to cherish. In the end, I feel that having low expectations simply helps you live life having an easier time interacting with others even if you do not particularly like them, allowing you to have a slightly easier life.

        Thank you. πŸ™‚
        I’m slowly learning to open up more, even if I have resorted to doing it in a joking manner to make it funnier and more natural to share. XD

        Denial is sweet. But even sweets can’t last forever.

        If you expect less of yourself, you’d hate yourself less. It’s great honestly. I used to hate myself a lot and rant about myself to myself, but now, I’ve just accepted it. Though it’s kinda like putting myself at a standstill. Unable to progress or better myself. It helps prevent self-loathing, but it prevents self-improvement as well, unfortunately. So I can’t remain this way forever…

        Haha, thank you for your support, advice and compliment πŸ™‚
        Sorry I didn’t listen to you and thanked you anyways ^^”
        (Sorry if it’s a bit messy or I didn’t address everything in your comment very well cause I just did what I said not to do in the first para… rushed a response while I still have wifi before heading back to camp ^^”)

        Liked by 1 person

      • Okay I won’t apologise. But still this is too late a reply. Been off WordPress for quite long. Are things settled down for me? Haha. I wish I knew the answer to that question more often. πŸ˜‚ But I’m learning, growing and holding on. I’m just letting things run their own course at their own pace. *Fingers crossed*

        Yes, I do agree with you. Because not everybody is going to be that important. So it’s only reasonable to give discount for a few of them. You know? I just realised that I actually do follow this after you said it. Priorities. Keep expectations in accordance to your priorities. People who really care for us will never disappoint us and the ones who don’t, well we won’t be expecting much from them right?

        That’s completely okay. We all have different coping mechanisms. People are always in need for more humour to laugh over. πŸ˜‰

        Denial. I know. I’m learning and I’ll keep trying.

        I can relate about self hating and self loathing. But it’s so weird because some days I’m so okay with me and the next day, I’m not. I blame my lack of understanding the problem first for this.

        Yes, you absolutely cannot remain this way forever. And you will not. We all grow regardless of whether we want to or not. Growth will happen when we’re ready for it. That’s what I’d like to believe in. πŸ™‚

        Hahha, you’re most welcome. 🎈
        And I’m sorry for replying this late too. Absolutely no. This wasn’t a bit messy. And even if it was, I find messy to be more honest than their counterparts.

        Camp! Wow. Hope you’ve been doing well πŸ˜€. Probably my reply is almost gibberish. Just woke up now, so typing this while my eyes are demanding a bit more sleep. 😁

        Liked by 1 person

      • Well, lately I’ve been less active on WordPress too. The week before the last, I was preparing for my overseas trip with my family before disappearing for a week. Now that I’ve finally come back, barely managed to put out two posts this week and completed my Sunday duty, I can sit down and properly respond to your 10-day old comment ^^”

        To be honest, I don’t think we will ever be settled for long. Or rather, we should not be settled for too long. I feel to be settled means to be content with our lives. While it is important to be content with our lives, I think it is also important to continually look out for change that occurs inevitably and adapt to those changes as they come at your own pace. I’m sure you are already doing that by learning, growing and holding on as you mentioned. πŸ™‚

        Yeap! Just do what you have to and enjoy good friendships that last and don’t mind those that you lose. Just appreciate the time you once spent together and move on. To be honest, I’m not so sure about keeping expectations in accordance with my priorities cause generally I just have low or no expectations at all. My mother always complains that I say almost nothing matters, however, feeling that nothing matters has made things much easier for me. Especially since I used to worry a lot about the smallest things. People come and go, I don’t really care anymore. As long as I have a few people to talk to when I’m feeling down or perhaps lonely. Yes, I do feel lonely sometimes contrary to the belief of almost every friend that knows me in real life. Most people I meet on a day to day basis are merely inevitable interactions brought about by the common workplace or coincidental meetings. People I just talk to for the sake of talking to. I expect nothing of them, and likewise, they expect nothing of me. Or at least, they should not expect anything of me.

        Phew, okay even though I said all that it honestly depends on my mood. I can be a very sentimental person or someone who really could not care less about anything or anyone… Anyways moving on before you think of me as a heartless bastard…

        It’s true, we all have different ways to cope with things. That is a fact. Honestly, humour is one of the world’s best medicine, isn’t it? XD

        All the best! ^^

        I definitely know what you mean! I’m exactly the same. Some days, I feel pretty okay with myself, even confident on a good day. However, there are also many days or times where I just feel like a hopeless existence who has no reason to live. It’s as though I have a strong self and a weak self interchanging at random times. One with confidence to live each day as who I am. One without any confidence in himself and only knows to live based on acknowledgement by others.

        Thank you! πŸ™‚ Hopefully, we both continue to grow in ways that will help us to live life more confidently as who we are.

        Glad you didn’t find mine messy ^^
        Honestly, yours isn’t messy either haha XD
        I’m not even tired or just woke up yet this may be one of my worst constructed comments yet though. My mind is feeling messy and I can’t seem to organise my thoughts very well. Been like this since I came back from my week-long trip overseas. ^^”
        Didn’t expect not writing for a week to make me feel so disoriented…

        I’ve been doing well, thanks πŸ™‚
        Hopefully, you have been well and getting adequate sleep as well XD

        Like

  2. I think that most people fight too hard to be understood. The fact is that we can explain our feelings to another person but they will never truly understand as they are not us – they haven’t had the same experiences, lived the same life. Effectively when we expect someone to understand us, we are asking for the impossible. A good conversation should be an exchange of ideas or feelings, on any given subject, with acceptance and respect on both sides, I don’t think we can really ask for more.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Wow, really love your comment. Completely agree with everything you have said.
      We cannot expect anyone to completely understand us for we all have unique experiences that were faced by each of us individuals with varying personalities, mindsets and tendencies.
      The best we could ever have is a friend who listens to who you really are and accepts you for you. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

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