First, I just want to apologise in case this post is not very well written.
I’m just trying to grasp the right words to describe something I cannot very well feel or understand after all…
For someone who laughs and talks a lot of nonsense with those around me on a day to day basis, the silence kills me. Especially when there is silence both around me and within me.
Often times, I talk and act however I want yet nothing really makes me feel anything deeply. As a result, I often forget what happened soon after. Basically, my memory is crap for those things that I do not care about, and I do not care about a lot of things. I do not care about so many things that honestly, that’s most likely why I feel so empty. I have nothing I genuinely care about to share and discuss with others so I feel detached from them.
I’m nothing but another incomplete person, wandering through my daily life trying to figure out why I exist. Sharing my thoughts online in hopes of being recognised. In hopes of having my existence recognised through my thoughts I shared.
An attention seeker? Maybe.
Someone trying to solve an inferiority complex? Maybe.
Perhaps someone who has a superiority complex when it comes to his thoughts compared to others? Maybe.
I honestly do not know my true intentions of whatever I do.
I say I enjoy writing but honestly… I just write.
I don’t particularly feel much.
I don’t particularly think much.
I just… write…
The same way I’m just living… living till the day I die…
Or maybe… I’m simply just existing…
As nothing but an empty shell pretending to be more than it is.
As you guys know from my earlier post, today I just cannot seem to find the right words to describe what I feel at the moment. Thus, I listened to some songs and gained enough inspiration to write this.
This post was heavily inspired by the first three songs of the playlist below…