Blog Response: Why so Insecure?

Other than the topic, there is not much relation to Accidental Blogger’s post. However, I’d recommend you check out his post before reading mine by just clicking here.

In this post, I’m merely hoping to share what I’m insecure about.

It’s nothing about physical condition, money or social status.

I’m insecure about who I am as a person.

Why?

Everyone around me has a fixed perception of who I should be. Thus, I’m continually struggling to make myself fit into the image others have of me. As a result, I’m insecure about myself as an entirety. I lack the confidence to portray myself as who I want to be because I know what others perceive me to be. I am already comparing myself to in a sense, myself. I’m comparing myself to the image of myself that others have painted of me. On the outside, I’m just a hard working individual who is looking to learn coding which is more practical and realistic while I’m writing a blog on the sidelines in secret. Of course, this is just a small comparison. There are many differences between what others perceive of me and my “actual” self. In general, people perceive me to be more capable than I actually am. However, having been insecure about my “actual” self, it has started to fade and I’m becoming more of the person others want me to be. Or at least, on the surface, it seems that way. Only regressing to my pitiful self when alone and no one around to expect anything of me, no one to force me into action.

Exactly what do I mean by pitiful self?

I mean someone who does nothing but stares blankly at his surroundings, doing nothing, thinking nothing, saying nothing. It’s as though my “self” has merged with other’s expectations into one. There can no longer be one without the other.

selfvsexpectations


I hope you guys don’t mind that my posts have been pretty short lately, been a pretty hectic week and will be pretty busy the coming few weeks as well due to an annual audit coming up in camp (cause I’m currently serving national service).

What are you guys insecure about? Can you relate to my problems? Or are you pretty confident of yourself as an individual and seldom feel insecure?

Leave your thoughts in the comments below. ๐Ÿ™‚

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Categories: Blog Response

5 replies »

  1. One should never be insecure about being different. Everyone is busy trying to be someone who they aren’t. They are losing their own identity.

    While you’re someone who is different & you aren’t trying to be someone else.
    I think being different is strength & not insecurity.

    My insecurities – Public speaking, Expressing myself

    Liked by 1 person

    • I know that one should never be insecure about being different. However, I’m saying that I’m insecure about who I am as a person due to my many flaws and weaknesses. Like you, I’m not exactly good at public speaking and when I’m not typing, I often fail to express myself well. But aside from just communication issues, there are many other areas I’m lacking in that does not allow me to do what I need to do well. As a result, I become a burden to others and I just hate that. I feel insecure about myself because I see so many flaws that I can’t even figure out how to improve on. Or rather, I’ve given up on bettering myself in those aspects and simply despair over my incompetence… In the meantime, I dabble in things where there’s no one to put a grade to my ‘work’, writing…

      Sorry, I think I got carried away cause I just finished writing Wednesday’s post and thus my comment leaned towards the mood I got into writing it.
      Just gonna leave all that there cause I feel it’d be a waste to just delete it all.

      Anyways, I guess being different, in my case, deciding to write instead of doing other mainstream things like coding, medicine or law and such can be considered a strength (hate using this word to describe myself tbh) since I’m doing something many would see as impractical to do and likely not support. However, with the amount of time I invest in this, I wonder whether I’m making the right choice. Am I investing too much time in something that would ultimately be unable to help me in the future? Or is there a possibility I could make this blog something more?
      Honestly, I can’t help but be unsure of myself since this is something most people do for fun and there are only a select few who can make a living off blogging in the whole sea of bloggers. Those that make money make in-depth content and things that people want to read about. Mine is nothing like that. Just thoughts. Just my thoughts that I cannot bear to just come to mind and disappear without seeing the light of day.

      I’m mainly writing this for fun or rather to satisfy myself. But if I could earn income from doing this that would be great I feel… Of course, that would be over-estimating myself and being overly ambitious though. If I really want to earn an income from blogging I’d have to invest myself much more. Research more and write more to improve my writing and my content…

      Also… definitely need to learn to focus on what I’m writing about. Right now, I’m not so sure how my comment ended up this long and whether it is even a proper reply to your much shorter yet concise comment. I apologise for that and thank you so much for sharing your thoughts! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

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