Other than the topic, there is not much relation to Accidental Blogger’s post. However, I’d recommend you check out his post before reading mine by just clicking here.
In this post, I’m merely hoping to share what I’m insecure about.
It’s nothing about physical condition, money or social status.
I’m insecure about who I am as a person.
Everyone around me has a fixed perception of who I should be. Thus, I’m continually struggling to make myself fit into the image others have of me. As a result, I’m insecure about myself as an entirety. I lack the confidence to portray myself as who I want to be because I know what others perceive me to be. I am already comparing myself to in a sense, myself. I’m comparing myself to the image of myself that others have painted of me. On the outside, I’m just a hard working individual who is looking to learn coding which is more practical and realistic while I’m writing a blog on the sidelines in secret. Of course, this is just a small comparison. There are many differences between what others perceive of me and my “actual” self. In general, people perceive me to be more capable than I actually am. However, having been insecure about my “actual” self, it has started to fade and I’m becoming more of the person others want me to be. Or at least, on the surface, it seems that way. Only regressing to my pitiful self when alone and no one around to expect anything of me, no one to force me into action.
Exactly what do I mean by pitiful self?
I mean someone who does nothing but stares blankly at his surroundings, doing nothing, thinking nothing, saying nothing. It’s as though my “self” has merged with other’s expectations into one. There can no longer be one without the other.
I hope you guys don’t mind that my posts have been pretty short lately, been a pretty hectic week and will be pretty busy the coming few weeks as well due to an annual audit coming up in camp (cause I’m currently serving national service).
What are you guys insecure about? Can you relate to my problems? Or are you pretty confident of yourself as an individual and seldom feel insecure?
Leave your thoughts in the comments below. 🙂