Posted in Blog Response

Sunshine Blogger Award

Really want to thank Anonymous from unrevealed thoughts for nominating me for the “Sunshine Blogger Award” despite the fact that I do not have particularly positive content as the word “sunshine” would suggest.

“Well, it’s not like the world is full of sunshine and daisies. If society was only shaped by the view that one must be happy-go-lucky all the time, Hollywood wouldn’t make tear-jerking movies, would they?
– Hikigaya Hachiman (Oregairu)

Although I may not post the most positive stuff, perhaps it is the not so positive things that people take comfort in. If we are all suffering together, even if just a little, it may make things more bearable. More bearable than if we were to believe that we were the only ones suffering.

Anyways, I’m not good with long intros, and Anonymous came up with a bunch of interesting questions so I’d like to answer them like… now.

Define life in one word


Whoever we are, we did not come into existence by our own will. All of us have been given life whether we wanted it or not. Our parents are the ones who decided to bring us into this world. Same goes for our parents. All the way until the very first generation that was probably brought into existence by a higher being.

I’m not saying this is bad thing. I am just describing life as it is. Compulsory.

How long one decides to live the life given to him or her is up to each individual… Unless faced with unfortunate situations. To make their lives meaningful or meaningless is each individual’s personal choice.

How do you or would you (I hope you don’t have to) handle a loss of loved one?

Honestly, I have no clue. I believe that I would not know how to react until I actually come across such a situation. It would be arrogant of me to think I know how to handle the loss of a loved one when I have yet to experience the pain of such a loss. Would I be overcome with emotion and break down? Or would I feel nothing and continue to immerse in my daily life because I’m sometimes a self-centred person who does not actually particularly care much for others? Perhaps somewhere in-between? I really do not know…

What is the one thing that can make you smile no matter what the situation is? (broad question…interpret it however you’d like)

For everything that has made me smile, there has always been a time when none of them has worked. It’s not that I have a difficult life, I just have a mind that is too good at being negative. If my brain wants to, it could easily convince me that I’m existence is not needed in this world and that it’s really nothing more than a burden to those around me and the rest of society. No amount of positive, inspiring songs or quotes or posts could get me out of those negative spirals.

The only options are to sleep and forget or despair together with sad songs or just write out my frustrations and lighten the load. Neither of which make me smile. At the very most, it relieves me for a while for a little bit. After which, I could perhaps watch some comedy anime to smile and laugh at…

I know the question asked for one thing, but there really is no one thing that can make me smile no matter what the situation. If my mood is really bad, there is practically nothing that can make me smile. Even if I do everything I stated previously, while it works most of the time, sometimes I cannot even bring myself to do any of it and end up feeling down for long periods of time.

Perhaps if I had a girlfriend or really close best friends like those in anime…

What do you think is the purpose of our life?

There isn’t one.

More specifically, our lives have no pre-defined purpose.

Each individual’s purpose in life is defined by their own beliefs and values.

In other words, each individual gives their own purposeless lives meaning through their own desires… or so I believe.

If you could change one thing in this world, what would it be?

I would change the world’s state of being from “existing” to “non-existent”.

While we would miss out on every positive experience and the very “joy of being alive”. We would also miss out on despair which is bound to arise wherever hope does. As Zion Lee said, “Everyone wants happiness; no one wants pain. But you can’t have a rainbow without a little rain.”

To me, that happiness is not worth the pain. Just as pain is only temporary, so is happiness. We have to not only work to attain happiness but also work to maintain happiness. In the end, it would be far easier if we were not burdened with existence.

If we never existed in the first place, there would not even be an “I” that would think “Oh I wish I existed to experience the joy of living!”. We would not be in any state of consciousness to be able to wish for anything. We simply… would not exist.

Would you rather be able to see 10 minutes into your own future or 10 minutes into the future of anyone but yourself? Why?

Honestly, I have no interest in the future. What happens in the future would not change what I would do in the present. I mean, if I see into the future of myself or anyone else and act to change it, the future would change would it not? It would be something uncertain. We would not know if it changes for the better or… the worse…

Or let’s say, I see what may go down in 10 minutes time. If I cannot change it despite knowing it, would it not simply lead to unnecessary stress over something I cannot control?

In the end, I cannot see any benefit of seeing 10 minutes into my own future or anyone else. Especially when we cannot tell what happened within the 10 minutes to lead up to whatever situation we witness. There could be a whole series of decisions we had to make to lead up to that point. How would we know which are the “correct” decisions to make to lead to a better future? No matter how far we look into the future, we only have one chance to get the “best route” we want.

What I want, is the ability to choose the best possible future and know what to do to move towards that… Obviously, that is asking for way too much though, so I’m fine to continually live in each passing moment.

The past makes you wanna die out of regret and future makes you depressed out of anxiety. So by elimination, the present is likely the happiest time.
– Hikigaya Hachiman (Oregairu Zoku)

Would you rather lose all of your money and valuables or all of the pictures you have ever taken? why?

Lose all the pictures I have ever taken. I don’t take many photos to begin with. The only reason why I take pictures is either to use them for some edits or to post on Instagram things I bought, never to look at them again.

I’m not the type to take pictures of myself, be it alone or in groups. I believe in just enjoying the moment. To be honest, I kind of hate it whenever I go out with friends or family and am obligated to be in a picture. I mean seriously, do people actually go back and look at those pictures ever again?

Personally, I couldn’t care less about such photos. I don’t exactly visit my gallery often if not to look for pictures for my edits. Now even less frequently since I’ve started using Pixabay.

Oh wait, I sometimes scroll through my gallery to look at memes

On the other hand, well, I would not be able to maintain my blog without money. I also need my valuables like phone and laptop to communicate with others and for entertainment. I wouldn’t be able to survive without them.

What breaks your heart the most?

My existence. Just kidding.
My inability to maintain relationships. Just kidding.
The fact that friendships like in anime and manga don’t exist. Just kidding.
The fact that I can’t figure out whether I want to be a social being or someone who prefers to live in solitude… Just kidding.

The fact that I may not be able to see the end of One Piece.

the stark difference between anime and reality.

Would you rather be famous when you are alive and forgotten when you die or unknown when you are alive but famous after you die?

If I’m famous when I’m alive but forgotten when I die, I probably didn’t do anything that positively impacted the world to become famous did I? If I was unknown when I was alive but famous after I died, I probably did something in the shadows while I was alive for the greater benefit right?

With these assumptions, I’d rather be unknown in life and famous in death.

However, if I got famous while I was alive just doing what I love, even if it is not a great noble thing… that would be great too. 🙂

Do you believe in life after death?

I don’t really believe in anything… I’ll just see for myself once I die I guess. I mean whatever I believe now is simply an assumption, a hypothesis yet to be proven to myself until I meet death.

I do hope that after death I simply lose all sense of self and become non-existent though. That’d be great.

Can we ever be free? What would it be like?

Depends on your definition of freedom.

To be honest, we need to settle for one kind of freedom. There is no such thing as absolute freedom… Well, there is but that would mean that the world would be in chaos.

For there to be freedom, there must not be any order. There cannot be a hierarchy for us all to be free… which is practically impossible considering humans are not equal. There will always be people who are stronger, wiser and more intelligent than others. Among them, there will be those who repress the weaker, less wise and intelligent ones… Unless the weaker ones gather together and oppress the perhaps smaller in number, more “competent” people.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that one person’s freedom can restrict another’s freedom. So my statement at the start was more correct, even in chaos, freedom for “us” collectively, cannot exist.

At the same time, a system, society, can restrict our freedom by giving us rules but at the same time, give us the peace of mind to live our minds doing what we want to do… as long as it does not harm others from doing what they want or need to do.

The only way for there to be true freedom, would be for all humans to inherently not feel the desire to control others or discriminate. In other words, for all human desires to not have any effect on those around them.

Of course, we all know that is impossible.

As always, questions like these, I think my answers could have varied depending on what mood I’m in. As of now, what my answers are most accurate to describe the thoughts of the me at this present moment. Anyways, it was pretty fun to answer these questions. Thanks to Anonymous for coming up with these questions!

Sorry again that my answers are not exactly the most positive and full of “sunshine”. ^^”

Anyways, now it’s time for me to nominate 11 more people for sunshine blogger awards… This is tough cause most of the bloggers I follow already got nominated or are already fairly well-known but here goes nothing…

Realistic Beginner
Connecting Dots
Defining Yellow
Pointless Overthinking
You Can Do It
Story of A Journey
Crucial Notes

Daily Tidbits

Life As We Know It

Now The Eleven Questions are…

  1. Do you think more clearly when it is completely silent or when there is some noise in the background?
  2. Do you get annoyed by others easily? If so, do you hide your annoyance or display it openly?
  3. Do you need to be in a certain mood or frame of mind to write? Or can you generally write whenever you want to write?
  4. What is the greatest inspiration for your writing? Your own life? Music? Movies?
  5. How often do you read other people’s blogs?
  6. When you read other people’s blogs do you simply read them or do you think about the post and form your own opinions from them?
  7. Would you consider your life to be a fortunate or unfortunate one? If you are fortunate, do you feel like whenever you complain about something you are not justified? If you are unfortunate, do you feel like your complaints are justified?
  8. Are relationships important to you? What do you do to show those around you that they are important to you without making another feel any less important?
  9. What is “love” to you? Do you think that such a thing truly exists?
  10. Do you think about friends, family or yourself the most? If not, who? Why?
  11. What would be your ideal way of life? Not the way you are currently living life, but the way you want to live life.

The rules of this Awesome Sunshine Blogger Award are:

  • Thank the person who nominated you and provide a link back to their blogging sites.
  • Answer the questions.
  • Nominate 11 other bloggers and ask them 11 new questions.
  • Notify the nominees about it by commenting on one of their blog posts.
  • List the rules and display the sunshine blogger award logo on your site or on your post.

Even if you were nominated, if you would rather not be a part of this, you can just ignore it. Don’t feel obligated to respond if you don’t feel the need to or actually want to do it.


My thoughts are always fleeting. Writing is the only way I can remember all the things that once crossed my mind.

3 thoughts on “Sunshine Blogger Award

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