I know most bloggers are doing their 2018 year in review and resolutions for 2019 right about now (or have already done them). However, being someone who subconsciously or consciously forgets most of my memories, I have not much to say about how the past year has been.
Honestly, to look back on the past and learn from it is important. The problem is that I’m an idiot. I make the same mistakes all the time. Why? Cause I don’t have memories that I can easily look back to. I live and forget.
It makes it troublesome to maintain relationships and reminds me of One-week friends (an anime), but at least for her, she can remember things within the week. Mine is more of one moment friends. The only thing I can remember in my subconscious is how close I am to the person and how comfortable I feel around them. To me, that’s the most important thing.
Saying all this, it feels like some fictional story that my mind came up to place me in a victim’s role yet again. Perhaps, all I’m saying is just gibberish, and I simply do not want to look back on the past. No matter what fun or painful times there may have been… it doesn’t matter to me. I have enough trouble simply living in the present to think about things that I cannot change. The undeniable fact that even I know as the new year starts is… I’m still alive, and so, I still have things to do. Things to do as the person I am today. As much as I deny my past, who I am is the result of my past after all.
Anyways, I don’t want to set any real expectations or hopes for the new year because that’s how I never disappoint myself. So I guess, I just hope that 2019 will be a peaceful year.
Haha, perhaps that’s actually asking for way too much. Either way, I’ll just live unless I die just like any other year.
Happy New Year!
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