Last week I did a blog response about people. This Saturday, my post is yet about people again (sorry about that ^^”). But this time, inspired by two anime I watched recently. Oregairu, which I am rewatching, and Zaregoto, a new series I started recently.
When the main character of Zaregoto was asked whether he liked or hated people, no firm answer was given… I feel that I am the same way.
Interacting with others, forming an opinion of or with others results in change. Good or bad, I do not know. Thus, the uncertainty deters me. To be alone means to be isolated from external factors. Logically speaking, this would mean that I can reduce the uncertainty of my own future. I act and live based on my own value systems. Unaffected by others. True to myself.
You could say that being alone allows me to have more time to reflect. Reflect on my life so far. Reflect on what I have done and what I want to do. It enables me to indulge in self-discovery. To find my core values and beliefs, and thus, how to act in a way that is better in my own eyes as compared to who I was in the past…
Despite saying all this, I do not particularly hate being around people either. Sometimes, it helps me to escape from my own thoughts that spiral out of control every now and then. Sometimes, it also helps to have the perspective of others when I’m feeling hopelessly lost. In the end, there are perks of being around people even if you are more introverted. You just need to be in the right mood, with the right people.
Reading back on everything that I have written so far, the explanation as to why I dislike being with others is due to the general public as a whole. On the other hand, the explanation as to why I like being with people… is not exactly valid. It is not exactly people as a whole, but only those who I trust and have a respectable view of. In the end, I only like being with a subset of the complete set “people”… as long as I am in the right mood.
People are difficult to read and understand because they rarely say everything they are truly feeling. Even their own thoughts may not accurately portray how they feel. I mean, considering how I go out of my way to organise my thoughts and still cannot really figure out exactly how I feel all the time, I think I can vouch for that.
This breeds unease within in me when I talk to others, making it a troublesome task to interact with others while looking out for landmines. Or at least, when I’m not in the “I don’t care about anything” mood. I cannot even grasp an idea of what people as a whole are like because to do so, I’d have to make generalisations which I absolutely hate.
Although I guess… discussing people as a whole like this already goes against what I believe in. Talking in such a way, I probably already have a pre-conception of what people are like too, I just deny the fact that I already generalise others as “people”. Deny it such that I feel like my values are not so fickle…
“People” is simply a term referring to individuals as a collective whole. To discuss people is but a meaningless task. Why? Every individual within the collective of people is different in their own right. Even if only minutely different.
Anyways, different people, at different times make me feel a variety of different emotions. Sometimes, nothing at all. However, no matter what I feel or think of people, I will continue to meet people day in day out, some good, some bad. Some at the right time, some at the wrong time. It is an inevitable event that is bound to continue recurring till the day I die or become a shut-in.
What are your thoughts on people? Do you really think it is meaningless to generalise? Or do you think that as long as you are willing to have an open-mind that changes as you witness new things, it is fine to make assumptions and generalise what people are like such that it is easier to deal with people?