There are many things that I hate to do. Things I don’t want to accept. I escape from as many problems or troubles as possible by either disregarding them or prevent myself from getting into trouble or things that will trouble me in the first place. All to protect my peaceful, simple life.
Instead of being bound by relationships in which one inevitably risks getting hurt in one way or another, I practice the art of getting along with others while maintaining a distance. By doing so, I can enjoy most benefits friendships provide while at the same time minimise any losses on my part.
At the same time, with people you aren’t close to, you can vent whatever troubles you have and forget about it later on. Why? You’re probably more are less irrelevant in their daily lives that they won’t even remember half of what you said. It’s like having a wall to talk to but better because, assuming they are nice people, they are socially obliged to nod and agree with you before saying farewells and never talking to you again. This is good because you don’t have to feel the guilt of burdening someone you are close to with your problems or ruining your image of a carefree student or hard-working, serious student who is unfazed by anything.
In the end, I guess it’s all for the useless image we force ourselves to keep up around those people who have a certain view of who you are. With each person, you need to choose which parts of you to show. A constant game of “Who am I today?”. If you play your cards right, life will be that much easier for you and you escape unnecessary conflicts with others that just bring about hurt.
Now onto the next matter!
Instead of getting caught up in emotions and scrambling for a reason to live, I choose to ignore such matters as a waste of both time and energy. I once spent countless hours daily contemplating the meaning and reason for our existence. The only conclusion I came to, was that life is, based on the biggest picture, meaningless. Despair was what I felt at first. However, having no reason does not mean that we cannot continue to live. That is just what we have been led to believe. To exist is just a matter of fact. It is inescapable unless we dare commit to the act looked down on by many. Suicide. Of course, I’m not one who would dare do such a thing. Both because of the pain that it would bring me and the potential inconvenience to others.
Live without thinking. That is the only solution an escapist like me can think of. If there is no solution, just don’t think about it. If you don’t think of it as a problem, it’s not a problem. Wise words by my role model Hikigaya Hachiman from “My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, As I Expected”. Though most people who have watched the series would likely come to a rational conclusion that he is not exactly an ideal role model. Though I do still look up to him anyways.
If you ever find yourself drowning in negative thoughts, simply occupy yourself with something. Read books, watch anime, movies or even study or work depending on whether you are a student or working adult. In essence, life is just about how well you can kill time in ways which prevent you from despairing over the meaninglessness of life.