I know that I’ve already done a fair share of posts on friendships, love and connections but I just wanted to share my thoughts on the fragility of bonds between people in general.
This week, after watching an anime called “Banana Fish”, I was left in a rather emotional and sad state. I was devasted at the ending as I’m one who gets quite emotionally invested in anime. Thus, I ended up scrolling through my old WhatsApp messages. As I scrolled through countless conversations that ended years ago, I realised how many people I had previously known and long forgotten. There were just as many people who I left hanging on the last message as there were people who left me hanging on my last message. In other words, conversations that never got a conclusive ending.
This made me realise, at least for me, how the bonds I’ve formed with others are so very fragile. So easily breakable. Was I always this way? Did I always think nothing of my “bonds” with others? Discarding them whenever convenient?
If I think back about how these friendships, or whatever you would call them, ended, I realised that what made it so easy, was the fact that these bonds were created due to the need to meet on a regular basis at a commonplace, school or home. The bonds formed in school or home, are ones of necessity. Or perhaps not exactly necessary, but simply to make life easier for oneself. Once the commonplace of school or home is taken out of the equation, we do not have to face others on a regular basis. If each person has no great interest in the others, then once the commonplace is gone, the bonds are easily shattered.
Of course, there is another reason for the fragility of human bonds. That is the inevitability of change. As much as they always show in any entertainment medium, friends who are constantly there for you, friends who will help you no matter how much you change to support you, there are few such people in reality. Honestly, perhaps due to my few interactions with others, I have to question their existence. All I see are people who have an image of what kind of friends they want, people who will befriend others because they are a certain way. There is some room for leeway where we do not care about certain aspects. However, there are crucial parts of the people we form bonds with that we find absolutely critical. If they end up changing, it threatens to break the bonds between them.
Not everyone is so welcome to change.
If those friends see the change as good, they may accept it. If they see the change as bad, they could either throw you away and find new friends or they could help you to get back who you once were. Even if they choose the latter option, the one who has changed, may not want to revert to who they once were. Due to the conflict of interests, it is likely for the bonds to break as one tries their hardest to help while the other refuses and continues to break themselves. Eventually, most people would get fed up or simply give up. By giving up, they either stop all communication with them, severe their bonds, or, simply accept them for who they are because they are still fun to be around. These bonds too, become easily breakable. However, I cannot deny their existence. They hold on tightly despite their fragility. Such relationships are admirable. Such bonds are what I’m sure everyone desires.