Posted in Inspired By Life, My Thoughts

Blaming Yourself

Image from Pixabay

Last week, I talked about how futile it is to blame others and to simply focus on what you can do. However, I did not mean to say that one should blame themselves for everything. There are undoubtedly things that are out of our control. While there is a possibility that we could have prevented certain unfortunate failures, it is simply impossible for us to predict everything that could go wrong.

Sometimes, we just have to understand that some things were inevitable or even if they were not, they are events that have passed. All we can do is learn from those mistakes and try not to repeat them. Although, it is not uncommon for people to repeat their mistakes over and over again. After all, change is not as simple at various main characters in entertainment mediums make it out to be. Or at least, I do not believe that it is something so simple and easy to accomplish.

To be able to analyse one’s own faults and weaknesses without letting it prevent you from moving forward is definitely not an easy task. In fact, it’s something that I struggle with a lot. Many times, I find myself simply accepting all my flaws like people tend to tell us nowadays and find it easy to identify myself as worthless and insignificant.

Image from Pixabay

After all, if we are forced to look at the “bigger picture”, we are bound to feel a sense of how small we are compared to the size of the world. We aren’t like anime characters who bravely stand up to the world due to their personal convictions and beliefs. We aren’t so rebellious as to go out of our way to destroy and go against the system that has been laid out in front of us. Or at least, I am not. Perhaps there are many out there. Many people trying to change the world, believing that they can change the world. Perhaps, people who have already changed the world. If you think about it, there are definitely people like that… Just, not me.

I know for a fact that to stand up to the world and inspire change isn’t something that I can do. Why? I don’t have the mental aptitude for that. I don’t have the commitment, willingness or passion to do such a thing. Thus, I will forever be my very worst enemy… Except that I have accepted this self of mine.

I’m sure you can guys can see what I’m talking about, can’t you? Realising your weaknesses and blaming yourself isn’t enough. People should learn from people like me, what not to do. Basically, don’t bring yourself down just to live at rock bottom your whole life. Blaming yourself for everything without doing anything will solve nothing. It will only make you feel worse. Not only that, the people around you who care for you would start to worry for you as well. When you are dejected and blaming yourself for faults that those around you may not even be able to see, those who care for you would likely feel at a loss as to what they should do.

Of course, I’m not one to tell anyone how to live. Each and every person should decide whatever they want to do with their lives and take responsibility for it.

That’s all there is to it.

Posted in Inspired By Life, Inspired By Others, My Thoughts

Blaming Others

We all know that whenever something happens, someone or something is responsible. It may not necessarily be only one person or one thing. It could be an undesirable situation that arose due to various people and uncontrollable factors. Yet, there are many times where people want to push the blame to a specific group of people or an individual.

This is such a common act looked down upon by others when viewed objectively in entertainment mediums such as manhwa, manga and anime among many others. In the comments section of websites used to stream episodes or view webtoons, people are always insulting and hating on characters who refuse responsibility and continually blame others. “Only weak people do that”, “They are such cowards”. Reading these comments, I can’t help but wonder whether they themselves are guilty of such acts.

Viewing the lives of other characters in our various entertainment mediums, we grow attached to the main characters who are often kind, caring and friendly. However, as a result, whenever an opposing force arises, we tend to side with the main characters and usually hate on the others who stand in their way. Even if those characters resemble us in ways that we would much rather deny.

Objectively speaking, blaming others for the sake of avoiding responsibility and facing up to one’s mistakes is nothing more than a worthless waste of time and energy. Instead of doing such things, one should always try to look towards finding a solution and helping those who are responsible to grow, change and deal with the situation. Instead of merely saying it is someone else’s fault and standing at the sidelines just because you don’t want to do something about it yourself makes you partially responsible as well. After all, you chose to stand aside and do nothing.

That is the mentality of most teachers which I personally always hated. Why should I do something extra just because those who are supposed to be doing their job are not? If I just continue working hard on my own, doing what I’m supposed to, is that not enough to continue living and avoid getting in trouble? It’s not like everyone likes having a hand being extended to help them when they do not even feel that they need help. After all, they can see it as being looked down upon. Thus, unless they ask me for help, I have no reason to help them.

However, I’m sure you must be thinking of all those times when upper management above you messes up and gets you in trouble. Surely you must be thinking, “It’s all their fault! What in the world are they doing?”

In the end, we have no idea what they are doing. Unless of course, you are really in the know and knowledgable. For me, I’m just a clueless average follower so I have no clue what efforts they may have put in or did not put in. In the end, it’s something that cannot be controlled by my ability, or at least with the amount of effort I’m willing to put in. As a result, the only option I have is to brush it off like the main character of a certain anime, saying “Such misfortune…” and continuing through life.

Original Image from Pixabay
Edited by me using Phonto

By only doing what I need to do to the best of my ability, I can avoid being blamed for anything. If I fail and am blamed, well, I just got to do better and work on improving myself. Either that or if the punishment isn’t too bad, just suck it up and continue doing what I do because it’s not worth the effort to change. I mean, it’s not like I’m actually a super motivated workaholic. I just want to live peacefully without too much conflict.

Is that too much to ask for?

Posted in Inspired By Life, My Thoughts

Just some ramblings

Just the other day, I got called out for using calculated words. Not calculated words with any ill intent but simply words meant to ensure that I do not get on anyone’s “bad side”. He knew this but still felt it was bad of me to hide my “true self”. However, to me, I never really felt it was an issue as it is only logical to not want to get on other people’s bad side so as to make our own lives easier isn’t it? Plus, it is not a problem since a pure genuine self of mine that I do not show to anyone does not exist.

Or at the very least, I do not believe that it exists.

The only reason why I still exist is because of the existence of others. Since there are others around me that live, I too need to live. My life revolves around this fact. My existence is one that needs to be comfortable and befitting of the minimum requirements of those around me. In other words, care only about what directly affects me, and people I have to interact with on a daily basis, other than that, isolate myself and indulge in various entertainment mediums available.

Yes, escapism. Anything and everything that can be avoided will be avoided. That is how I live. Doing the bare minimum just to get by before the day I meet my inevitable death… Yet even while living like this, I cannot deny that there are moments which I feel that I want to live. Moments in which I feel like I have a purpose to live.

Those moments often come in phases, for example, whenever I pick up something new to try out; photo editing, video editing, game making, coding and writing. It makes me feel a sense of accomplishment every time I create something and makes me want to create various other things. However, due to my half-hearted and non-committal nature, I tend to put off things after a while when I grow tired of them.

Lately, even my usually somewhat active mind has been wandering and empty. Most of the time nowadays, I find myself spacing out. Unable to think of anything, unable to find it in me to do just about anything. However, during this period of nothingness, I came to question my thoughts themselves. Are they really anything of value? I share them all the time claiming that I like to write but is there another reason why I do so? Have I been deluded into thinking my thoughts are unique due to a few people who complimented me for my “unique” way of thinking? I’m sure that many others have thoughts similar to mine but simply keep to themselves.

Is anything I’ve ever shared or said truly deep? Or is everyone just even more shallow than I am? What makes something “deep”?

For so long, I have indulged myself in a myriad of quotes and loved how profound some of them were. But now, whenever I look at a quote, the most I feel is, “Oh, that’s quite relatable”, and then I move on. There is nothing that strikes me as deep or meaningful anymore. It has all become so repetitive that now sometimes they sound cringy when I read them in my head. Have I just heard and seen all there is to see? Or have I simply been deluded into that negativity equates to deep and profound?

Perhaps, I have yet to reach the truly deep and profound words and discussions that are meaningful and insightful. Or maybe, my conviction that everything is meaningless has turned whatever thoughts I had to appear to be pointless trains of thoughts and turned my hobbies into pass-times.

Original Image from Pixabay
Edited by me using Phonto