Posted in Inspired By Anime, My Thoughts

Decisions: Why they matter… or don’t

Disclaimer: There will be content from Zaregoto discussed in this post. A dialogue between two characters. Or rather, just statements made by one character describing another.

In Zaregoto, the main character got criticized. No. Someone commented on how he hates to make decisions. She told him, “You despise having to choose. You do not accept that you have to make a choice.” Later following up saying, “You just let yourself drift. Avoiding conflict. Never clarifying anything. You are an ambiguist.”

In my opinion, there is nothing particularly wrong with not wanting to make a choice and staying adrift… unless it negatively impacts ourselves or those around us who we care about.

When we choose one option, it is inevitable that we will be losing out on the benefits of another. In other words, for every decision made, there is an opportunity cost.

Even if we make the best decision, we are still losing out in one way or another. We are simply cutting our losses and maximising our gains. Perhaps it is greedy of me to put it this way. It implies that I want to find a way to not incur any loss at all. Although we all know that is impossible.

Yet, even knowing this, I continue to walk on the line. Hoping that by being in the middle, never deciding on anything, I can reap the benefits of both sides without taking any risks or loses… Even though we all know that is an impossible fantasy.

The only thing standing in the middle will ever do, is leave us stagnant. Unable to move forward or progress in any way. Sure, we may have the advantage of understanding the views of both sides. However, if we cannot pick a side and insist on standing in the middle. It just goes to show that we either lack individuality or simply do not care about the matter enough to risk getting in conflict with others. After all, having an opinion is enough to get you hated or disliked in this world. No. Perhaps one may even be despised for not having an opinion.

Most of the time for me, it is that I don’t really care about the consequences of the decision. Why? The result likely does not directly affect me. Thus, I am unable to form my own opinion or stance. I am unable to feel the need to do so. On the bright side, it helps me to avoid getting in unnecessary arguments and conflict. While it may sound like I’m validating the reason as to why I stand in the middle, I’m not exactly doing so. I’m simply explaining the reasons for my lack of desire or willingness to decide on things… perhaps some of you may rightfully call them mere excuses.

Although, in the end, it does not really matter whether or not I like or dislike to make decisions does it? Or whether it is right or wrong to do so. As we go through life, we are bound to be forced to form our own opinions and make decisions as we go through life.

Whether or not we want to or believe it to be right or wrong.

After all, we are not dolls or machines without a will. Even if we wanted to live like them, we would not be able to. In life, there is more than enough time for us to face countless situations in which what others are doing, goes against our values or beliefs. We may not always have an opinion on everything, but that does not mean we have no opinion on anything.

Getting back to the topic of making decisions itself, to decide on something, would inevitably mean that you cannot back out. It results in inflexibility. If we want to remain flexible, we would have to constantly make decisions while knowing that we have to change it at any point in time should the situation call for it. So could you not say that it is not entirely wrong to not make a decision in this case?

You can.

What is important is not that you hold yourself to your decision permanently. What is important, is that you make decisions, be it good or bad ones such that you can progress through life.

Like I mentioned at the very start, you cannot progress in life if you never open any of the doors in front of you. You are bound to stumble along the way and perhaps even question your own identity and thoughts. However, struggling on and trying to find the you who you have decided you want to be is the only way to live life.

Or at least, that is what I believe.

Original Image from Pixabay
Edited by me using Picsart and Phonto

Would you consider yourself a good decision-maker?Do you decide things for yourself based on your own opinion? Or do you just go with the flow and follow others without really making your own opinionated decision?

Leave your thoughts in the comments below 🙂

Posted in Inspired By Book, My Thoughts

Existentialism: A Good Decision is Subjective

bad decisions

I recently borrowed a book titled “Existentialism: All that matters” by David Cerbone. In the second chapter of the book, he explains that in there is no objective “right” answer for our decisions. While we would often think that our feelings and emotions get in the way of making better decisions, it could actually be the opposite. Without our own personal bias and preferences, the decisions we make may result in a better result from the perspective of others. However, it would not be for our own personal benefit as it does not satisfy our personal desires.

Without taking into account what one truly desires, attempting to make an objectively better decision is simply doing things for the sake of the “bigger picture”. However, in existentialism, there is no “bigger picture”. There is no greater meaning in this world. Thus, the truth is that we have to figure out what is meaningful from our own perspective. What we feel is best for ourselves, is likely best for ourselves. In other words, the best decision to make is subjective. Subjective to the desires of the one making the decision. Others have no right to tell us what we think is right for ourselves.

When I was studying in school, I always thought to myself, “why must I be so disinterested in all of these subjects? Why doesn’t anything here interest me?” Despite such thoughts, I continued to study hard. I thought that I needed to be more objective. Studying is essential to get good grades to help us get jobs in the future. I cannot let myself be overcome by laziness or personal disinterest in the tasks set out for me to accomplish. I need to become a productive member of society and give back for what has been given to me. I cannot be selfish.

However, these very thoughts are what prevented me from trying to find something that I could actually do passionately to the best of my abilities. Something I could enjoy doing while helping myself find a plausible goal in life. I never thought of what I really wanted to do until I ended up having time to relax at home on weekends and not worry about anything since enlistment into the army (since it is mandatory for 2 years). With so much free time over the weekends, I could search for and discover something that means something to me. For the first time, I found something I wanted to do. Write.

Even if we make “mistakes”. Even if we make decisions that we regret later on, we were simply acting on what we believe is right. If we feel the despair and regret of committing to a certain action, our feelings would shift to desire something else. Just because we do not like the consequences of the decisions we made does not necessarily mean that things would have been better if we made a different choice. We simply do not know such things due to the fact that every choice is a one-time thing. As we experience grief due to our decisions, we learn from them. There is nothing wrong. We would not know if it was truly a bad decision for us until we try for ourselves. I mean, just because someone says that doing what you desire to do is a bad idea or something you would regret, he is only saying it from his perspective. Or at the most, based on what he thinks he knows about you.

There is no such thing as a bad decision if you follow your own desires and follow through. The only bad decision would be to not follow your desires. To dwell on what you want to be but never taking action. Or to dwell on your weaknesses and hating yourself without doing anything about it. Those are the only two decisions, that would never lead to anything good.

– K.A.L.T

Since my previous post was about the existence of a right or wrong answer, I decided this post would be a good follow-up.

If you are interested, you can get Existentialism: All That Matters from BookDepository. Simply click here.

Do you think that decisions on what to do in your life are subjective or objective? Is there a goal that each individual should strive for that is already set in stone due to unchangeable facts? Or do you agree that the best decision is one that the person is content with? Comment your thoughts below. 🙂