Posted in Inspired By Life, My Thoughts

Fragility of Relationships Based on Common Interests

Many relationships are first formed through the use of a common topic of interest. Be it movies, sports, games or perhaps simply general affairs. However, as much as it binds people together, it separates many. Over-reliance on common interests to form relationships is not something that I would advise. Even though it is easy to do so and honestly, rather common, it usually results in superficial and temporary relationships.

As unique individuals, we all have our own unique set of interests. Some people hold tightly onto their interests and are consistent while others wander around and explore new things when they get bored of their previous interests.

Due to these simple facts, many relationships are challenging to maintain. Or at the very least, that is the case I find myself in, as well as some of those around me from what I’ve observed.

When friends gather around to talk about, let’s say, a new addictive game that one of them found, it runs the risk of separating the group into unequal halves. Some of them may find the game boring and would rather stick to the game they’ve been playing up till that point. The rest of them would likely delve into the new game in anticipation of more fun times. As a result, a divide may arise.

Those who managed to adapt and enjoy the new game just as much as the old are easily able to maintain the relationships with their friends. Those who could not find it in them to enjoy the new game would end up being left out as the rest joyously discuss the new game in-depth — best ways to play, invest, et cetera.

The appearance of the new game thus results in a lot of pain for those who are unable to enjoy it. No. Only if there is only a singular exception, if there is only one person left out. Only then, it would be excruciating.

With no one else to turn to, the only option is to look for other friends or wait for their interest in the new game to die down and hope they come back to the old game.

No matter what entertainment medium a group of friends may be interested in, be it games, movies, anime or whatnot, there is a constant need to “keep up with the trends”. Games, movies and anime are constantly being churned out at a ridiculous rate. To keep up with the latest and best releases to stay on top of conversations with friends would require a lot more effort as compared to merely indulging in them for our enjoyment.

In the end, these relationships are not so much about bonding with the other person as it is “bonding” with said interest, together with others. These “friends” are nothing more than people who want to talk and discuss things they enjoy while being reassured that it is in good taste by those around them.

Original Picture from Pixabay
Edited by me with PicsArt and Phonto

As long as they share a common interest, the relationship is “good”. If the common interest is lost, or one seems less interested than the other, the relationship fades into the distance and appears to never have existed.

This is how fragile relationships based on common interests are. Since I am someone who doesn’t have many interests and do not indulge in-depth into things, I find it difficult to maintain relationships due to a lack of conversational topics. Even if I find others that enjoy anime, manga and light novels as I do, I can’t find it in me to talk at length about anime, manga and light novels.

Why?

It’s because I enjoy them as pastimes, not things that I necessarily want to analyse in-depth and discuss or review like some others who are more intelligent and analytical as compared to myself. Even if I did do so, I would not be able to hold a conversation about it. At most, I’d formulate my own (shaky) opinions in my head and think about it on my own (to avoid criticism/opinion wars).

As a result of all these factors, I’m horrible at maintaining friendships. Friends come and go to the point that every time I make a new “friend”, I naturally assume that one day, my ties with that person would disappear. Not because they are bad people, but because I’m a very non-committal person. Just like my interests that are continually swaying between reading, watching shows, subbing videos, writing, sleeping and picture editing, I grow bored of others myself. Especially, when their interests and opinions diverge too far from my own that I am unable to engage in any social interactions with them.

The only way I believe that people can form long-lasting friendships with others based on common interest is when it is their passion. Only when both parties are willing to dedicate themselves to said interest such as art, animation, music or any field of work, will they be able to form long-lasting friendships due to their shared desire to become better at what they are passionate about.

Original Image from Pixabay
Edited by me with PicsArt and Phonto

Unfortunately, I have yet to find something that I am really that passionate about that I can enjoy with others. Thus, my solitary path for now continues. Not that it’s a bad thing. There are some things better understood upon dwelling on it alone. Also, not everyone needs to have someone else to move forward doing the things they have to or want to do.

Posted in Inspired By Life, My Thoughts

The Fragility of Human Bonds

I know that I’ve already done a fair share of posts on friendships, love and connections but I just wanted to share my thoughts on the fragility of bonds between people in general.

This week, after watching an anime called “Banana Fish”, I was left in a rather emotional and sad state. I was devasted at the ending as I’m one who gets quite emotionally invested in anime. Thus, I ended up scrolling through my old WhatsApp messages. As I scrolled through countless conversations that ended years ago, I realised how many people I had previously known and long forgotten. There were just as many people who I left hanging on the last message as there were people who left me hanging on my last message. In other words, conversations that never got a conclusive ending.

This made me realise, at least for me, how the bonds I’ve formed with others are so very fragile. So easily breakable. Was I always this way? Did I always think nothing of my “bonds” with others? Discarding them whenever convenient?

If I think back about how these friendships, or whatever you would call them, ended, I realised that what made it so easy, was the fact that these bonds were created due to the need to meet on a regular basis at a commonplace, school or home. The bonds formed in school or home, are ones of necessity. Or perhaps not exactly necessary, but simply to make life easier for oneself. Once the commonplace of school or home is taken out of the equation, we do not have to face others on a regular basis. If each person has no great interest in the others, then once the commonplace is gone, the bonds are easily shattered.

Of course, there is another reason for the fragility of human bonds. That is the inevitability of change. As much as they always show in any entertainment medium, friends who are constantly there for you, friends who will help you no matter how much you change to support you, there are few such people in reality. Honestly, perhaps due to my few interactions with others, I have to question their existence. All I see are people who have an image of what kind of friends they want, people who will befriend others because they are a certain way. There is some room for leeway where we do not care about certain aspects. However, there are crucial parts of the people we form bonds with that we find absolutely critical. If they end up changing, it threatens to break the bonds between them.

Not everyone is so welcome to change.

Original Images from Pixabay
Edited by me with PicsArt and Phonto

If those friends see the change as good, they may accept it. If they see the change as bad, they could either throw you away and find new friends or they could help you to get back who you once were. Even if they choose the latter option, the one who has changed, may not want to revert to who they once were. Due to the conflict of interests, it is likely for the bonds to break as one tries their hardest to help while the other refuses and continues to break themselves. Eventually, most people would get fed up or simply give up. By giving up, they either stop all communication with them, severe their bonds, or, simply accept them for who they are because they are still fun to be around. These bonds too, become easily breakable. However, I cannot deny their existence. They hold on tightly despite their fragility. Such relationships are admirable. Such bonds are what I’m sure everyone desires.

Posted in short story

Short Story: Reminiscence

Stories of the past are not something I hold dear. In fact, my past is something that I often forget. Something… that I do not think about. However, to recreate a single memory from my past adding whatever creativity I have was last week’s writing prompt from Writer’s Digest.

After much thought, I can only recall one event that has left an impression on me. I can’t remember exactly when it happened but that does not matter since I’m changing it up into a fictional story anyway.

Hope you enjoy.


Best Friend(s?)”

Like any other typical day, I strolled into class and saw one of my close friends, Samuel. As usual, he greeted me with a smile and asked me how my weekend was. I replied by telling him it was okay and that I did the usual. The usual being sitting at home and reading books all day. He laughed and joked that he should have just guessed. I smiled in response while putting my bag down at my seat.

Despite our interactions being relatively short, I consider Samuel a close friend of mine because of how comfortable I feel around him. I can immerse myself in my book, and he would never disturb me or give me the feeling that he is waiting impatiently for me to finish. When we talk, he always listens carefully to whatever I say and looks genuinely interested. Whether or not he was merely acting out of kindness to me, I did not know. Honestly, it did not matter to me. Seeing him listen to whatever I say so intently made me feel really happy.

After talking with Samuel for a bit, the class was about to start. We had to go back to our seats. Unfortunately, Samuel is seated quite far from me so we don’t have much time for small talk during class. Not that either of us is really the type to talk during class.

Before we knew it, it was recess time. Samuel came to me as I was packing up my textbooks from class and taking out the required ones for the classes after recess. He asked me if I was eating today. Since no homework was given during the first half of the day, I told him I could join him for recess.

When we reached the canteen, we split up. I went to find a table to sit down at while Samuel went to queue for his food. Since he wanted to eat Mee Pok from the most popular stall in school, I figured I could take hold of some seats and just wait for him. After all, I only planned on getting a meat bun from the snacks stall which always has a far shorter queue.

While waiting, I decided that I probably have time to read a chapter or two of Harumi Muradami’s book I purchased just two days ago. As I was about to flip open to the first page, someone slammed into me from behind. Having almost dropped my book, I immediately turned back to glare at whoever it was. I turned around to see my other close friend, Jacob.

Why is my other close friend such an insensitive troublemaker? I do not know. In fact, I have no idea why Jacob wanted to be my friend in the first place. I don’t stand out and I’m no where near as energetic as he is. I guess, there are some things I’ll never really know.

Jacob beamed at me as though he did nothing wrong and questioned why I looked so angry. I simply let out a sigh and told him that I just haven’t had much sleep lately. He laughed and commented that I was probably too immersed in yet another one of my books and forgot to sleep. He was not wrong, but him saying that after being the actual reason as to why I was angry irritated me. Although, it is not entirely his fault that he doesn’t know that… Since I lied to him.

After talking with Jacob for a bit, Samuel arrived at our table. For a brief moment, I could have sworn I caught him with a disgusted look on his face. However, just a moment later, he smiled at Jacob and asked what he was doing at our table. Jacob, being Jacob, simply stated the facts. He said that he just came to talk to me for a bit. There may have been some hint of irritation in his voice, but I just assumed it was my imagination. I told Jacob that we could catch up some other time and that he should probably get going to meet his other friends from his own class. After a brief moment, he agreed and smiled, waving at us while walking away.

I never expected that it would be the last time I saw him… alive.

Fin.


Sorry if it was a little long and perhaps a bit boring to some of you. I tried my best to make it short, but it turned out relatively long. I already shortened the much longer version I had initially written, but I guess I’m not very good at being concise and including only essential information.

I’m thinking of maybe making a book based on this. To add more depth to the characters. So you guys can better understand not just the main character, but his two close friends Samuel and Jacob. Also, to make the ending not so rushed and well… forced?

Honestly, even though this was supposed to be based on a true story of my past, it is different in so many ways it’s pretty much all fiction. I don’t even remember what my two friends were like. Heck, I don’t even remember what kind of person I was back in Primary school (6-12 yrs old). I just remembered that my two closest friends did not get along well. As a result, one of them ended up trying to kill himself after getting into a fight with the other. Why they would get so serious over who is my “best friend”, I have no idea till this day. We are no longer in contact so I cannot ask. Even if we were, they’ve likely forgotten the event anyway.

There’s also a possibility that my mind is just making up things to replace my memories that I forget oh so easily. Guess I will never know these sorts of things. My brain probably does lots of things that never cross my mind.

Original Picture from Pixabay
Edited By Me with Phonto

Feel free to share your thoughts on my short story below! 🙂