Posted in Inspired By Life, My Thoughts

Fragility of Relationships Based on Common Interests

Many relationships are first formed through the use of a common topic of interest. Be it movies, sports, games or perhaps simply general affairs. However, as much as it binds people together, it separates many. Over-reliance on common interests to form relationships is not something that I would advise. Even though it is easy to do so and honestly, rather common, it usually results in superficial and temporary relationships.

As unique individuals, we all have our own unique set of interests. Some people hold tightly onto their interests and are consistent while others wander around and explore new things when they get bored of their previous interests.

Due to these simple facts, many relationships are challenging to maintain. Or at the very least, that is the case I find myself in, as well as some of those around me from what I’ve observed.

When friends gather around to talk about, let’s say, a new addictive game that one of them found, it runs the risk of separating the group into unequal halves. Some of them may find the game boring and would rather stick to the game they’ve been playing up till that point. The rest of them would likely delve into the new game in anticipation of more fun times. As a result, a divide may arise.

Those who managed to adapt and enjoy the new game just as much as the old are easily able to maintain the relationships with their friends. Those who could not find it in them to enjoy the new game would end up being left out as the rest joyously discuss the new game in-depth — best ways to play, invest, et cetera.

The appearance of the new game thus results in a lot of pain for those who are unable to enjoy it. No. Only if there is only a singular exception, if there is only one person left out. Only then, it would be excruciating.

With no one else to turn to, the only option is to look for other friends or wait for their interest in the new game to die down and hope they come back to the old game.

No matter what entertainment medium a group of friends may be interested in, be it games, movies, anime or whatnot, there is a constant need to “keep up with the trends”. Games, movies and anime are constantly being churned out at a ridiculous rate. To keep up with the latest and best releases to stay on top of conversations with friends would require a lot more effort as compared to merely indulging in them for our enjoyment.

In the end, these relationships are not so much about bonding with the other person as it is “bonding” with said interest, together with others. These “friends” are nothing more than people who want to talk and discuss things they enjoy while being reassured that it is in good taste by those around them.

Original Picture from Pixabay
Edited by me with PicsArt and Phonto

As long as they share a common interest, the relationship is “good”. If the common interest is lost, or one seems less interested than the other, the relationship fades into the distance and appears to never have existed.

This is how fragile relationships based on common interests are. Since I am someone who doesn’t have many interests and do not indulge in-depth into things, I find it difficult to maintain relationships due to a lack of conversational topics. Even if I find others that enjoy anime, manga and light novels as I do, I can’t find it in me to talk at length about anime, manga and light novels.

Why?

It’s because I enjoy them as pastimes, not things that I necessarily want to analyse in-depth and discuss or review like some others who are more intelligent and analytical as compared to myself. Even if I did do so, I would not be able to hold a conversation about it. At most, I’d formulate my own (shaky) opinions in my head and think about it on my own (to avoid criticism/opinion wars).

As a result of all these factors, I’m horrible at maintaining friendships. Friends come and go to the point that every time I make a new “friend”, I naturally assume that one day, my ties with that person would disappear. Not because they are bad people, but because I’m a very non-committal person. Just like my interests that are continually swaying between reading, watching shows, subbing videos, writing, sleeping and picture editing, I grow bored of others myself. Especially, when their interests and opinions diverge too far from my own that I am unable to engage in any social interactions with them.

The only way I believe that people can form long-lasting friendships with others based on common interest is when it is their passion. Only when both parties are willing to dedicate themselves to said interest such as art, animation, music or any field of work, will they be able to form long-lasting friendships due to their shared desire to become better at what they are passionate about.

Original Image from Pixabay
Edited by me with PicsArt and Phonto

Unfortunately, I have yet to find something that I am really that passionate about that I can enjoy with others. Thus, my solitary path for now continues. Not that it’s a bad thing. There are some things better understood upon dwelling on it alone. Also, not everyone needs to have someone else to move forward doing the things they have to or want to do.

Posted in Inspired By Life, My Thoughts

Friends Cannot Be Compared

friends

Today one of my friends asked me out of the blue, “Me or him?”

Although it was just a joke, it reminded me of the past.

In primary school, I had two close friends (at that time) who fought over who was my best friend. This was mainly due to the fact that they were both okay with me but were at odds with each other. For some reason, they just did not like each other. Of course, at that time I was even timider than I am today so I could never answer their question of who I felt was a “better” friend. Especially since I did not want to hurt either of their feelings and truthfully, had no answer to the question.

Ultimately, even now, I still find that to be a redundant question. There is no comparison between friends in my opinion. Or at least, no way to compare which is a “better” friend. I feel that choosing who is “better” would simply be equivalent to deciding friends on who brings you the most benefits. Friends are all individuals with different personalities and will no doubt react in a variety of different ways depending on what they are like. Simply deciding one is worse due to their behaviour not meeting your own expectations means that you do not consider them your friends but simply people whom you can enjoy benefits from. People who only behave how you want them to.

To me, friends are people who you are comfortable being with. People who can do what they want and react in different ways to make things fun and interesting without bringing you harm. Not people who are the best at responding to my every need or want.

It doesn’t matter if one is more reliable than others or more fun to be around. Ultimately, as long as I feel comfortable around you and consider you a friend, you are important to me. Why bother comparing yourself to others whom I also consider as friends?

– K.A.L.T


Sorry for the rather short and late post today considering I usually try to post 8pm sharp on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Fridays are a little difficult to post by 8pm so I’ll try to either write a post for Friday beforehand and schedule it or simply give you guys a later post in the future. This is mainly due to the fact that I am currently serving national service and book out on Fridays. Meaning that I have to eat dinner and head home before I have time to start writing my post for the day. Usually, I eat a quick one and head back but today I had a long meal with my family. Anyways enough of my excuses. Hope you enjoyed the post and as always, feel free to comment your thoughts below. 🙂

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